Picnic, After Hours

Today was the mark of a new dynasty. One I imagine will be full of pain and suffering. Friday classes started. Don't get me wrong, the people are great! The classes, however, are just one more veggie burger on the already painfully green plate of my healthy education. This particular beginning of the year was very different than the others.
  To start off the strangeness, the picnic meeting where we all got together took place at night... in a park. The only light source was a lamp taped to the top of a ladder. The men fought over who's flashlight was more powerful and pondered how many moths were killed by the powerful "ladder light" each hour, while us ladies sat at the table eating pizza and salad. It was a time to remember.
  After the food sources had been exhausted, it was time for socializing games. All the kids were lined up and were given a number from 1 to 10. I was in group 7. I sat over with my friend Henry. Then the parents were all given numbers. Two were assigned to our group and we played the game together. After five minutes our parents switched and a whole new family was created... I mean group 7. The rest of the night continued in this manner.
  I didn't gain much from the experience, but I did learn a few things. I learned that it's hard to say goodbye to your assigned parents, but it's easy to replace them; I learned that I carry neither a flashlight or a knife in my non-cargo pants, so I can't technically be called a man; and I learned that a little girl likes monsters and got a blood test.
  Although the exercise was a bit out there, I am a better man for it. I have become aware of how to be secure in my manliness. All it will cost me is anywhere from $30-$40 bucks! But mostly I learned that even though blood tests may hurt a little bit, they aren't scary... and neither are monsters. It's ok to like them. Laters.